in the past 10 years, a lot of really special people have come in and out of my life. i can say with absolute candor that i am immensely blessed with the best of friends and family. these people are the ones that truly make me feel rich. i plan on one day singing each and every one of their praises. but today, i want to take a moment to thank the men who helped me become a woman. or, maybe i should say gave me a nudge in the right direction ;)

BG
thank you for stretching my heart and teaching me how to love someone as more than just a friend. i mean, you essentially taught me how to be a girlfriend. and you made me feel like a prize. that was the first time i really felt valuable to someone the way i feel valuable to my family.

JL
thank you for introducing me to the sheer exhilaration of romance. you showed me what it’s like to live in a real whirlwind fairytale, to listen for that song on the radio, to say ‘i love you’ and really, really fucking mean it.

SE
how can i put this best? i was glitter and you were granola. we just weren’t the right match. but only after dating you, did i realize that relationships can’t be forced. that i shouldn’t have to be shy or apologetic about the things that i want. it was a hard lesson to learn, but i thank you because i think both of us grew from that experience and got more clear about ourselves and what we wanted from the other person.

TS
you helped me realize that chivalry is not dead. that there are true gentlemen still out there. men who are honorable, men who love unconditionally, men who want a true partner. you showed me that a relationship, at its greatest potential, can be a fortress and an unstoppable, incredible force. for that i thank you.

DW
we met, we kissed, and you fell for me in a carnal, 1+1=2 kind of way. you saw in me what you wanted to see, and i in turn played that part for you. because i cherished your affection as you did mine. god this is such a cliche, but i realized that loving someone is not the same as being in love with someone. i can honestly say, though, that our love for each other was pure and unadulterated. thank you for helping me remember how to love the way people do before they grow up and get hurt and jaded.

GA
we were never officially “together,” but there was definitely something between us. i still wonder what might have been if it weren’t for the distance. would everything have played out the way it seemed it would? i guess we might never know, but i still smile when i think about your staggering thoughtfulness, the mental notes i could feel you take during each phone conversation. thank you for restoring in me the faith that there are, at best, still hopeless romantics out there and, at worst, some really exceptional guys.

——————————

2010 is around the corner. and really, not to glamourize it or say some kind of sweeping sappy statement, but i truly feel like i am embarking on a new journey of sorts. after an entire decade of love and loss (and not necessarily in a negative way), i feel poised and ready to do great things this next year. through love and with love. and maybe i’ll fall in love too. who knows.

what can i say, i’m a believer +